Age Happens...
Below is a past Instagram post from @patina_life. It was one I thought about writing for a long time, but it felt a bit raw and revealing, so it took me a while to get up the nerve. But as I continue on this journey, I realize that to genuinely connect with my readers and build a community here, I have to put myself out and continue to push the boundaries. Because this time of life, as wonderful and liberating as it can be, can also be very challenging, both emotionally and physically. And while I ultimately want us to #celebrateallthebeautifullayers, I also think it’s incredibly important to cover all of it, and talk through the transitions as we lift each other up and help each other through.
Another thing. When I posted, I used the wrong spelling of the word “vain". I have no idea how I missed it, but I did, and for some technical reason, I was unable to edit the post (ironically, this is the ONLY time this has ever happened to me!). I could have deleted it, but the sentiment really seemed to resonate (of all of my posts it had the highest performance/engagement). And while I am determined not to get hung up on those metrics, my feeling was that it struck a chord, and I decided to leave it up with the glaring error (not easy for a true Virgo and grammar stickler)! I have written about the letting go of the need for perfectionism that plagues so many of us when we are younger, and I am doing my best to embrace that as I get older. Below is the original post with the proper spelling! My hope is that it will inspire a little self love…
Age happens.
I am vain. In the past I would never post a photo that highlighted my morphing neck, fine lines, grey roots, etc. When my crow’s feet first showed up around 40, it was the first real sign of age on my face, and it freaked me out. I guess I wasn’t ready to start looking older. I got Botox, and while it softened the lines around my eyes, others started to form below. I think it was then that I started on a slow journey to accepting that aging was inevitable no matter how much I fought or tried to deny the reality. I didn’t continue with Botox, but I did continue to scrutinize every photo for signs of age.
Fast-forward to my later 40’s, still vain but starting to think about age in a different way. Thinking about how much more confident I was feeling. About how it was okay not to be “perfect.” About how certain formerly-consuming day-to-day responsibilities were shifting and winding down. It was then that something started to click for me, and I began to feel genuinely excited about what was next. And it was then that I knew I wanted to explore this evolving perception of age, through writing about it and connecting with other midlife women. That’s when the idea for Patina, a name chosen to evoke time-worn beauty and texture, was born.
I’m 52 now, and I think it’s incredibly important that we keep talking about age and giving ourselves permission to do it on our own terms. Because our faces and bodies will change, no matter what we do. And that’s okay. None of this is to say that you shouldn’t do whatever makes you feel good. Modern medicine has given us many options, and I have absolutely nothing against injections, plastic surgery, or whatever helps you feel confident. While I have stayed away from those interventions (at least for now), I am a big believer in taking care of my skin, and am always trying new products to keep it healthy and glowy. But ultimately, if we can keep talking about age as a positive, natural process, and steer the conversation to all we are gaining as opposed to what we are losing, then perhaps we can continue to chip away at antiquated cultural ideas about older women and create a new currency all our own…